In honor of my old friend JS, who regularly reminds me of the inane practice that is national days of remembrance. As stupid as it is to have each calendar day rendered “special” by having some idiotic label attached to it, come to find out that there are actually multiple of these honoraries per given day. I had gotten the bright idea to lampoon this utter buffoonery, only to be outdone by its own self-mockery. The following are the dedications listed for October 25, 2026:
- National I Care About You Day — okay, just fuck off!
- National Greasy Foods Day — you see, I wasn’t far off.
- Sourest Day — apparently an ironic reaction to the vile Sweetest Day. I’ll allow it.
- Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day — at least appropriate to the season.
- National Merri Music Day — my initial thought was another, “fuck off!” — but in reading about the musical genre, it’s actually pretty cool. To sum: “Merritone Music is credited for directly influencing the rise of ska, reggae, rock steady, and the present-day dancehall music culture.” Okay, I’ll allow it.
