Triviality #1: Most everyone is familiar with Nostradamus. But few realize that he had a prognosticating half-brother called Nostrildamus, who divined the future using exclusively his sense of smell. Triviality #2: I am working on a novel theory called “The Law of Conservation of Shaving Cream and Its Broader Implications on the Future of Mankind.”Continue reading ““Trivialities””
Author Archives: Stephen Futterer
“ICE, ICE, Baby…”
“De-booting (Fuck Trumpf!)” Let us renew and long replace What boots have stomped but cannot erase.
“The Bald F*cking Truth”
It dawned on me that each year both begins and ends with “The Twilight Zone” marathon. Bookends, if you will. And this seems particularly fitting in the era of Trump 2.0, as we now live in a dystopian Shit-Show Supremo run by idiots, charlatans and ghouls. Who are these lame, prick-ass loser-fucks, anyway?! Were theyContinue reading ““The Bald F*cking Truth””
“Old Fezziwig!”
A Merry Christmas to everyone from Great Exudations! This year we have a special treat for you. That timeless traveling troubadour, Tommy Treacle, was in the studio with me earlier this week and we were discussing all things Christmas. Below is a lightly edited version of our conversation. Enjoy! Host: Welcome back, Tommy! It’s beenContinue reading ““Old Fezziwig!””
“You don’t bring me FLOW… anymore.”
“No Kings, Just Bling!”
The National Portrait Gallery, which shares space with the Smithsonian American Art Museum, is an underrated experience for visitors of Washington, DC. For starters, it’s free. Secondly, it boasts a panoply of American artworks that include paintings by Edward Hopper, Norman Rockwell, and Grandma Moses, sculptures by Frederic Remington and Augustus Saint-Gaudens, as well asContinue reading ““No Kings, Just Bling!””
“What ever happened to…?”
What ever happened to those cardboard periscopes that were once ubiquitous at professional golfing events? I’d like to take this opportunity to start an internet rumor that it was young boys using them to look up women’s skirts that led to their eventual ban. I assure you that this is not based on personal experience.Continue reading ““What ever happened to…?””
“Trivialities”
My wife was ribbing me the other day about someone’s name I couldn’t remember. It was right there at the tip of my tongue, and, given a month or two, I would have recovered it all on my own. Sadly, now that I’m on the wrong side of 60, these these happen not infrequently. TheContinue reading ““Trivialities””
“New Biometrics in Medicine”
I was brainstorming possible captions for this one and the best came from my friend JS: “When we started this project, our report turnaround times were in the toilet.” Taking callers now… Here are a few other contenders: “We won’t paper over your workflow problem.” “Hands-free when you need it most!” “At Draconian Healthcare, weContinue reading ““New Biometrics in Medicine””
“What more can you ask of life…??”
It’s an interesting thought experiment to ask yourself what you truly want out of life. I mean pizza, wings, beer and sports all have their place in augmenting our lives. But, then again, that depends on the pizza. Let’s be honest, most are mediocre. Many sound great in description and even look delicious to theContinue reading ““What more can you ask of life…??””
