Author Archives: Stephen Futterer

“Black Mirror”

“It’s going to disappear. One day — it’s like a miracle — it will disappear. And from our shores, we — you know, it could get worse before it gets better. It could maybe go away. We’ll see what happens. Nobody really knows.” — President Donald J. (for Jackass) Trump on COVID-19 in 2020 KenContinue reading ““Black Mirror””

“Trivialities”

Triviality #1: Most everyone is familiar with Nostradamus. But few realize that he had a prognosticating half-brother called Nostrildamus, who divined the future using exclusively his sense of smell. Triviality #2: I am working on a novel theory called “The Law of Conservation of Shaving Cream and Its Broader Implications on the Future of Mankind.”Continue reading ““Trivialities””

“The Bald F*cking Truth”

It dawned on me that each year both begins and ends with “The Twilight Zone” marathon. Bookends, if you will. And this seems particularly fitting in the era of Trump 2.0, as we now live in a dystopian Shit-Show Supremo run by idiots, charlatans and ghouls. Who are these lame, prick-ass loser-fucks, anyway?! Were theyContinue reading ““The Bald F*cking Truth””

“Old Fezziwig!”

A Merry Christmas to everyone from Great Exudations! This year we have a special treat for you. That timeless traveling troubadour, Tommy Treacle, was in the studio with me earlier this week and we were discussing all things Christmas. Below is a lightly edited version of our conversation. Enjoy! Host: Welcome back, Tommy! It’s beenContinue reading ““Old Fezziwig!””

“No Kings, Just Bling!”

The National Portrait Gallery, which shares space with the Smithsonian American Art Museum, is an underrated experience for visitors of Washington, DC. For starters, it’s free. Secondly, it boasts a panoply of American artworks that include paintings by Edward Hopper, Norman Rockwell, and Grandma Moses, sculptures by Frederic Remington and Augustus Saint-Gaudens, as well asContinue reading ““No Kings, Just Bling!””

“What ever happened to…?”

What ever happened to those cardboard periscopes that were once ubiquitous at professional golfing events? I’d like to take this opportunity to start an internet rumor that it was young boys using them to look up women’s skirts that led to their eventual ban. I assure you that this is not based on personal experience.Continue reading ““What ever happened to…?””