I’ve come to the opinion that business school mostly teaches people how to lie. And smile. Smile when they lie (and earn money on other people’s labor). And they never lie more than with their comparative statistics. Hospital administrators start off by placing a near zero productivity value on a clinician’s administrative tasks, all the while paying themselves quite handsomely for doing only administrative tasks. Next they adopt laser-focus on your billable work output, which is the metric that, to them, equates to your institutional value. These are your RVU’s (relative value units), which for a radiologist is how many CT’s and MRI’s you read over a given period. Mind you, that metric has absolutely nothing to do with quality or safety. Productivity and quality/safety, I like to say, are two entirely separate meetings that are held on different days and not even in the same building — never the twain shall meet. This is the foundational sleight of hand that drives the engine of hospital administration. Obsession with the former while paying grandiose lip-service to the latter.
But one there’s one thing I have never figured out. What is the key performance metric for these non-clinician pencil-pushers who take zero call, are exposed to zero risk, and are difficult to find after 4:15pm? Is it “number of e-mails sent” or “meetings attended (while simultaneously texting out your fantasy football picks)” or maybe “photos posted to social media”…??? The world may never know… But, whatever the case, I hope they are at or above the 50th percentile!
Great Exudations 