“Trivialities”

It begins with “The Bear.” I get it that some people just don’t get it. Yet, at least. Fine. I quit “Mad Men” after two episodes before later discovering the layered complexity and its occasional pure joy — such as the wonderful song and dance homage bit done by Robert Morse after the death of his character, Bert Cooper. The good shit always rises (it’s the fat content!). “The Bear” has terrific characters, acted superbly, and ones that I actually give a damn about. It pays homage to the Second (and best) City. The soundtrack is also excellent (if predictably Tweedy-heavy). And the show has great emotional range, whipsawing from the anxiety-inducing chaos of the “Seven Fishes” to the Zen-sublime of “Forks.” The characters evolve but also stay true to their native DNA — unlike the preposterously horrid reboot of “Sex and the City” called “And Just Like That… (It Sucked Ass!),” which we now enjoy hate-watching. For my money, “The Bear” is well worth any damage to the undercarriage for the stretch of smooth, open road that is your rich reward.

And living in Chicago, we decided to pay a visit to the fine-dining establishment EVER, which was used to film the “Forks” episode that had Richie Jerimovich (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) honing his craft at a world-class restaurant under the tutelage of uber-calm Chef Terry (Olivia Colman). The food they served was highly inventive and quite delicious. Although for a long time I was an anti-foodie. Fuck all the pretentious foam and the portion-to-price inversion, etc.. But I’ve come around over time (Alinea finally clinched it!), and for the culinary experience alone I’m glad we went to EVER. The bonus was in obliquely connecting us to the show we love. Maybe you’d get a similar jolt from visiting the bar that gave the world “Cheers.” Or for fans of “Slumdog Millionaire,” dropping from that outhouse into the underlying cesspool. Whatever floats you…

And that provides a nice, clean segue to another aspect of EVER that was pleasantly surprising. Around mid-meal, I excused myself to use the facilities, which was a series of spacious and clean private washrooms. As I was closing the door, I heard a voice but couldn’t exactly localize it. Was it coming from the adjacent restroom? It was a man’s voice, soft and calm, and it sounded vaguely familiar. Hey, is that Matthew McConaughey?? It is! Wait, is he HERE?! Noooooooo, he wasn’t. At least not in person. It was an audiobook of his memoir “Greenlights.” And I have to say, it was perhaps the greatest bathroom experience I’ve ever had (at least to date), and I was in there a good 5 to 7 minutes. Whether you are just freshening up, checking your texts, emptying your bladder, or having multi-staged spasmodic ass-plosions, it is so relaxing to hear a familiar and soothing voice talking about their own life’s journey (a close second might be David Attenborough discussing marine life, which might have you pondering where your biological effluvia was heading and its overall effect on the chain of life that unifies the planet). It had me thinking that ALL toilets everywhere, whenever feasible, should employ Mr. McConaughey’s melodious vocalizations in this way. The world would truly, undoubtedly, be a better and more joyful place! I’ll never forget it.

“Who’s on in your toilet?”…. taking callers now.