This story relates to events that occurred in Denver, CO on Sat Jan 11, 2020:
It was a call weekend for me. I worked in-hospital from 9am to 7pm. The pace was generally brisk and the food pretty bad in the cafeteria, which closed at about 2pm, so I had loaded up on snacks. A short time before this, I had started eating KIND bars — supposedly healthy, flavors like a candy bar, etc. All good. But that day I think I ate 4 or 5 of them, mostly in the afternoon. And it turns out that not all KIND bars are created equal, as some contain chicory root fiber while other don’t. Mine sure did. And it just so happened that on the same night my friend Bob and his wife were hosting a holiday party at their house. We arrived around 8pm. My intense gas pains arrived, sharply, at around 9pm. I didn’t figure it out until a few days later (Googling it at a stop light after work) that chicory root can have the adverse effect of extreme gaseousness! It was off the charts. Farts, farts and more farts. Farts that lasted 15-20 seconds or more. It was Fart-A-Thon 2020. Like having back-to-back colonoscopies. At one point I just sat on the toilet bowl and lazily expelled gas like a whale venting through its blowhole. It was comical (in hindsight) and almost musical. When I emerged, I kept crop-dusting like those old biplanes dropping DDT. As I was talking to one guy, with each sentence came a short involuntary burst of coliform cologne from my undercarriage, although I must say the odor was somewhat less than your standard issue blast (n of 1). But, Jesus the overall gas volume! Buyer, and bystanders, beware. Read the label. Limit your intake. Schedule an outdoor event. Bring a change of clothes. Stay home.
And come to think of it, we were never invited back.
Great Exudations 