Laugh if you will, but hemorrhoids are no joking matter! In the US alone, hemorrhoidal flare-ups cost the economy 1.2 Billion dollars in lost productivity annually. And while I totally made up that statistic, they literally are a pain in the arse; the itch you cannot satisfyingly scratch. Well, okay, between bouts they are kinda funny. But this shit DOES actually work! Just tuck it and go, go, go!! Plus Amazon saves you the embarrassment of store check-out. Which brings me to my proposed new TUCKS brand jingle:
“You might be Captain Kangaroo
Or you might be Mrs. Maisel
You might shop at consignment stores
Or you might wear couture labels
You might suffer constipation
Or you might just prefer anal
But if your backside’s acting up
Then slap-on some Witch Hazel!
TUCK it! TUCK it! TUCK it up!
Tuck that pad up in your butt!
TUCK it! TUCK it! TUCK it up!
Turn that limp into a strut!
With TUCKS!!”
Great Exudations 